On Monday 6/19 at 12 PT, I’ll reply to my favorite piece of advice in the comments section below & gift that person a $150 Jenny Pennywood shopping spree.
Even if you decide not to comment, you cared enough to stop by & that matters...
Deep Knowing by Jen Garrido, 2022, acrylic on canvas, 52 x 48"
I'm feeling a little burnt out
This year has felt like a closed loop of circular thinking. It’s like my head is in an orbit I can’t escape. I’m not depressed, but my headspace is spinning. These days (most days), I feel burnt out. Ups & downs are part of my process, so this feeling isn’t so new but I am just so tired of it.
My burnout has a backstory
Let's travel back to the early 2000s. I had just graduated from grad school & was teaching art at a small, private K-8th school. It was an amazing job. Or, it would have been had I loved teaching. I didn’t love teaching, but oddly enough I always thought I’d teach. During those same years I taught, I also waited tables & was an affiliate artist at the Headlands Center for the Arts where I was just beginning my art career.
After several years of juggling jobs, my art career began to unfold. At 30, I decided to let go of teaching because if I didn’t try to do art full time, would I ever? It was the right choice. I think. My career was up & running until 2008 arrived & the economy crashed. Suddenly, the relationships I had worked so hard to build ended due to one thing or another. So, I decided to create Jenny Pennywood as a way to explore textile design. Fast forward to today & it’s as though I’ve been living a double life & hustling ever since the crash.
My deep desire to recenter
Recently, it dawned on me that for 20 years & counting (essentially my entire adult life), I’ve been incredibly persistent in setting goals & assigning myself tasks with the simple intent of getting somewhere. In many ways, this has been an organic unfolding marked by key moments in time where things seemed to be coming together. But if I’m being honest, I’ve mostly struggled along the way.
Fast forward to today & it’s 2023. Here I sit, drowned in a deep desire to recenter. But, what’s next?
I love the work I do, I love Jenny Pennywood & I certainly love painting. In fact, I always want to paint more. I’m cool with the struggle in some ways, but I would rather it be a side dish rather than the main course.
What's on the other side of the struggle?
Have you ever been stuck? How did you climb out? What was your key turning point? Is there a version of life on the other side of the struggle, where there’s still struggle, but not so much? Comment below & share your story, struggle, words of wisdom, best advice, tools, habits or something else altogether that you think I should know. Whatever it is, I want to hear about it. Thank you for caring. XO, Jen
35 comments
Wow, I’m late to the party but am loving reading all these comments. I relate. I think it has to do with middle age and the unrealistic expectations of the society we live in to do too much- be an artist, constantly innovate and “produce,” parent, earn a living. It’s unrealistic but we’re caught in it because we have to live within capitalism . I’m at a turning point myself and have been thinking a lot about how the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves can be updated- what would it be like to let go of them and try something that we really want to try, even if it doesn’t fit with the old story?
Currently also feeling burnt out while juggling three littles and looking for new work. There are moments where I feel incredibly lost and purposeless- but I remember a line in the book Gilead where the narrator asks himself, “what is the Lord asking of me in this moment?” Regardless of any religious context, I like to ask myself this question. What is most important to me in this moment, what is something that I need to learn or grow from in this season? I try to guide my decisions and thoughts based on these answers. Still lost as hell, but I’m learning to embrace the process. :)
Using fingers on phone- so I’ll be brief. The middle passage by James Hollis is my go to book. This is a normal hard stage of life- what you describe is spot on for this complicated developmental stage. I recommend that book, hrt, radical self care, psychedelic therapy and humor.
HI! This is Jen of Jenny Pennywood! After much consideration, I’ve chosen my favorite comment! Thank you all for your responses and I’m really excited about the comment section of Mind Vacation! I had no idea how it would go and I’m happy so many of you got into it. THX AGAIN!!! xoxo JEN
As a doctor and mom of three, I got extremely burnt out during the pandemic and also began to question my life choices.
I’m still figuring this out. Exercise, good sleep, therapy and an SSRI help. On the days that’s not good enough, my cure for feeling down is to do something nice for someone else.
Maybe try teaching again? Consider taking on apprentices from under resourced neighborhoods/backgrounds? Or just random acts of kindness?
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